Bowlingchef's Blog

The shame of life, even when we think we are normal……

“Mankind……. There is so much we have learned, but yet so much more for us to understand and still learn further”.

We all come to this Earth very much in the same way, our innocence and fragile bodies as a young baby soaking everything in along the beginning of our journey. We are so eager to learn and grow into life, that we forget to stop and simply enjoy what is around us. Then we get so caught up with things around us, we forget about truly seeing who we really are, then you add in the fact that some will take advantage of you at a young age, also the life events that happen to all of us, now you have a recipe for disaster.

We are most vulnerable when we are at a young age, cause we want so much to just fit in, we forget about just being ourselves. We do things on the outside, that truly isn’t who we really are on the inside. Most of what we do on the outside, comes from something we don’t take the time to understand and it comes from someone else taking advantage of us, at a time of our vulnerability, it also has to do with some sort of life event, that because of the pain and shame it brings us, we want nothing but rid ourselves from this shame/pain. We then try to move forward by suppressing all the pain and shame away, then we become someone we are not, as we hide the true child within us and not let that child grow within ourselves, so he/she can grow into their full potential.

Shame will come to us in many ways, it will also bring great pain to us as well, shame will make us do things we normally would not and it will change us for the worse if we let it, when we are shamed we will suppress everything deep within, which includes who we truly are, our true feelings and our true emotions, shame will also make it easy for us to numb ourselves from everything around, whether the pain is mental or physical, we will feel nothing cause the shame is controlling who we truly are.

Our journey of life can be so overwhelming from a young age, when you throw in life events and others that will take advantage, this makes the journey that much harder, but if we take everything in moderation, understand better of who we are and knowing better of who we are as a child. We don’t think like this, simply cause we on the outside and that little child within, are learning and absorbing everything around us, when someone takes advantage and because we don’t understand, we think maybe either this is suppose to be, or maybe there is something wrong with me? Now you add shame to this equation and the pain we feel inside from the shame, there is no way we communicate with anybody, so we suppress everything we can to try to make the pain go away, not to mention of the numbing of all our feelings, so we feel nothing throughout our lives, whether physical or mental. When we all truly grow from our young age in a healthy way, that little boy/girl within all of us will fully grow and prosper into their full potential, as we all walk our paths along our journey of life.

” Life is a journey we all walk throughout Mankind, when our inner child doesn’t grow inside to it’s full potential, then we as an Individual don’t grow to our full potential as well”

First day of Spring 2015, that has come and gone……..

story idea                   March 2015 with the first day of Spring in the rear view mirror and as this day brought, more snow, more wind and more cold, we look forward to the warmer weather, so we can get out and explore more trails like this one in the picture.

We all throughout Mankind are Explorers, as we walk our paths along our journey of life, we explore everyday the unknowns that come before us on our paths, but throughout this Society of today, we have ventured away from what has gotten us to this point. We have all been so consumed with material things and putting forward a fake reality towards others, just so we can try to look as normal as possible to those around us, so we can try to look towards others as if we have climbed the ladder of success in our lives, but what is truly success to us?

True success is one of those things we have clouded with our clouded judgements, clouded judgement comes from our troubles and pains of our everyday living, dealing with the curve balls of life as they strike us and give us much pain, then trying to move forward as we bury these troubles and pains deep within ourselves. With this clouded judgement we make bad decisions, which at the time all we want to do is, rid ourselves of this pain, not show others that we are weak or that we have any pain, so we move forward in this clouded judgement, as we put forth a fake reality and others won’t view us as weak. True success is not what we do on the exterior, as others view us as strong with no weakness, “True success is felt inside us by only ourselves, then shows on the exterior with our actions of those around us”.

When we truly feel good of ourselves, feel good that we walk our paths with confidence, while we stay true to who we are, show this love and compassion of ourselves to all those around us, truly feel the love of God deep within our hearts and souls and even in the coldest of days, we are warmed with this love of God and ourselves. When we truly feel this warmth deep inside ourselves, this is the true success of all our lives, that success we think we feel, with all our material things and how we look towards each other, only shows that fake reality we put forth for each other, as true success is only felt by ourselves and the warmth from it, will warm us deeply on the coldest of days.

Now that the first day of spring is in the rear view mirror and we look forward to the warmth of spring, may we all get out and explore these trails, not only to see where they go, or what they hold in store for us, but so we can learn of ourselves better, get back in touch with the true success deep within ourselves, not to just be true to who we are, but put forth our real selves towards each other, as we all walk our paths along our journey of life.

” True success is not measured by the material things we have, true success is felt deep within ourselves and will warm us deeply on the coldest of days”

” We all within Mankind are explorers on our paths throughout our journey, so lets explore all the trails within our paths of our journey”

True Change is dificult for all who walk a Journey through life

“Day one of all our lives brings this Journey through life we walk together. The only difference to this Journey is, us as an Individual and the path we chose along the Journey”.

“There is no perfect path, there is no easy path, as all the paths have their own twists, turns and cross roads”.

There are many ways for us to get tripped up along our paths of our journey, as we explore our paths we find many life events that may trip us up as well, the issue with these events is, they bring us into the unknown further than we like. When we get deep into the unknown we tend to lose our true direction along our path, which causes us to become someone we truly are not. Each path we choose has their own direction and to us it is unknown, we as Humans fear the unknown (it is natural), but we tend to forget that this fear may frighten us now, but as we learn of it can make us better and stronger, to continue on our path of our journey of life.

These life events will come to us in many ways, whether its natural and a part of life, or they are brought by another fellow Human within Mankind, either way they can bring us much pain whether on the exterior or the interior of our physical bodies, when the pain affects us on the exterior, yes they can leave a scar and hurt greatly, but the scars will heal over time, when the pain comes to us on the interior, they can and will leave a scar that will last throughout our journey of life. With these scars they can “determine where we came from, but don’t have to determine where we are going”.

Throughout our journey of life and throughout all the life events that will come to us at the cross roads of our path, the one thing we do most is, let the shame of the event control who we truly are, because of the shame we hide our true feelings and emotions deep within ourselves, we bury our true selves deep within and then try to move forward showing a fake side (living in fantasy instead of reality), not only to protect ourselves from further harm, but to hide the pain from all that is around us, we also numb ourselves to the point we feel nothing from anything anymore.

The Journey of life will do this to all of us if we let it, if we don’t truly understand what is around us and why, we will always fear the unknown around every corner of our paths. The best way to conquer any fear is, to stay true to yourself and keep in touch with your true feelings and emotions, don’t numb yourself to the pains of shame, or anything that pains us, we have to feel the pain so we can truly fix what is wrong and the scars that the pain leaves, will heal whether on the exterior or interior.

Yes any pain hurts, but the pains from shame on the interior hurts more than any pain we may feel, it is very difficult to take away the pains of shame and we as Individuals will do whats best for ourselves, only because we know who we are and until we give up and bury our true selves, is when the pain from any kind of shame will hurt us greater, we will never truly acknowledge this cause we have buried deep within our selves, the biggest part of ourselves and that part is, our true selves, our true feelings and our true emotions.

We all walk our own paths along this journey of life, the paths may be different to each of us, but the journey through life for all of us is very much the same. The life events, the twists and the turns along each path, has their own way of bringing this fear of the unknown to us, the cross roads of the path will bring the shame from the unknown to us and unless we truly understand the fear and the shame, the next path we take from the cross road, will be from our clouded judgement, to which will lead us to more shame and more fear, then we become something we are not, so we can move forward without the pains of the shame and fear.

When God created all of Mankind, he made us all unique to each other, so we can help each other on all our paths we choose, he sent his only son Jesus to us, so he can show us the true path of righteousness and that if we walk our paths correctly, we will all have peace within our lives, God left it up to each of us to find that peace and it is there, just that we have to weed out the crap, so we can see clearly the true direction to the path of righteousness. The best way for all of us to see the peace lies within our true selves, when we bury our true selves deep within, we will never see the peace of the true path of righteousness, we will never see clearly along any path we take, which proves further that, when we see the true peace along our path, we truly know who we are and we truly feel our emotions/empathy as we walk our paths along our journey of life.

We all walk this journey through life, know matter who you are…

There are no guarantees on any of our journeys through life, as we walk our paths we are like the explorer’s before us, for we don’t know what to expect along our paths of our journey of life. No matter how careful you are at each turn or cross road on your path, there is always something or someone trying to throw us a curve ball.

Life is full of the unknowns, the only thing we truly know is what is right in front of us, or we truly know who we are, sometimes these curve balls will take this from us, the knowing of ourselves, only cause these curve balls hurt and bring much pain to us and our lives. When these curve balls strike us, we get shamed of ourselves for letting them strike us, we are shamed of what others will think of us, so instead we move forward while we bury an important part of ourselves deep within, so we can hide the pain and become someone we truly are not.

We all start out this journey very much the same, as a little boy/girl that is innocent and like a sponge soaking in everything around us, but as we grow and learn to walk on our own along our path of our journey, we to get hit with these curve balls as others before us, this is where we become divided from each other as some shake them off, while others let the shame and pain affect them deeply, this shame will turn us into something we truly are not, with this shame we lose all confidence in ourselves, self esteem becomes non  existent and from this, we try anything to be able to just fit in with everybody else.

When our confidence is shot and our self esteem is non existent, we have buried the most important part of ourselves, the feelings and emotions part, which gives us not only the empathy of ourselves, but the empathy of others around us. We have also numbed ourselves from anymore pain that may come to us long our paths, as we become someone we truly are not, we will try anything just to fit in with anybody that will notice our fake self. We follow groups or other Individuals that might offer us what we lack, yes they are Human like all of us, but each one of them has been pained so bad in their earlier lives, that this is what they have become. So we follow to hide our shame deeper within us, what I am truly saying is, we are all Humans that walk our paths along a journey of life, yes these curve balls hurt greatly when they strike, but when we stay true to who we are, have complete faith in ourselves as well as in God and Jesus, we will never lose confidence in ourselves and with our self esteems intact, all of us within Mankind, can walk our paths along our journeys in peace, while we become better and stronger throughout our journey as well.

” Curve balls of life may hurt and bring much pain, shame will hurt with pain even greater, when we stay true to ourselves this pain will never last”

” We all have this little boy/girl inside us, it is when we are shamed that we don’t let this little boy/girl grow to their full potential”

Can words really hurt you???

Within this Society today of high technology, social media, and the fact that we are taught to “man up” cause words can’t hurt you only because there is no physicality, sorry but who ever says words don’t hurt, needs to re think the way they think.

The words people use have the same effect on another person as if they literally beat the snot out of another person, the choice of words someone may use, is very much in the same class as physical abuse, some may disagree cause there is no being physical or laying a hand on another, but what you do to their way of thinking of themselves and others around them, hurts them far worse than beating the crap out of them and even worse, these words don’t leave a mark on the exterior, but the marks they make internally, can and will last a lifetime

While we grow from a young boy/girl, we are like a sponge soaking up everything around us, during this stage in life there will be others that try to influence us any way they can, because we as a young child don’t know any better and are in the learning stages of life, we get sucked in to whatever they are trying to influence us to, there will also be others that use being physical as their way of control much like a school bully, then because we are like the sponge soaking things in, we tend to take the abuse instead of standing up against it, then as that little boy/girl through the fear of the situation, learn to bury the pain inside and not communicate externally, in order to truly make the pain go away, now you have a troubled Society we all are a part of.

There are many ways that abuse will come into our lives, even as an adult in our jobs from someone superior to ourselves, abuse can be mental as well as physical, whether you lay your hands on someone, or you simply use the wrong words at the wrong time, words can and will be more powerful than being punched in the face by another. Social Media today proves just how true this theory is, now that we have a new Bully in town and it is called, “Cyber Bully”.

The scars from a verbal assault can and will last a lifetime, the scars from a punch in the face may hurt for a short time, but will heal over time, when we have internal scars the pain is great and we try anything to rid ourselves from it. We become someone we truly are not, in order to try to keep the internal scars from hurting us further, we suppress deep within ourselves our true feelings and emotions, we numb ourselves to everything around, so as nothing else will bring this pain to us again, but the words keep coming, we keep suppressing, til one day an explosion of ourselves that has built up over time, then the unthinkable happens and no more pain anymore, except we are no longer around to truly feel our real feelings and emotions, or the ones close to us will forever miss us, when we are no longer there.

This is what a Bully does to their Victims, it doesn’t matter how the Bully does it, whether at school, the work place, or cyber through social media, even someone who abuses another in any way shape or form is also considered a Bully, as they all use fear to control their Victims, the power of control is the end game for any Bully and when the Victim gives them that by, suppressing their true selves deep inside themselves, the Bully will continue what they are doing. The way you fight a Bully is, stand up to them, show them no fear and more importantly, stay true to who you are always, never lose touch of your true feelings and emotions, when  you are true to yourself, there are no words that can be said, to hurt you deeply inside, words whether coming from someones mouth or typed into the cyber world, are just that…words, they originate from someone, somewhere and when we stand up to that someone, there is no where they can hurt us anymore.

” When words are said in a beautiful way they can inspire us all, when they are said in a negative or harming way they can hurt us in many ways”

” A Bully uses fear to control their Victims, a Bully can come to us in many ways, whether physical, use of words, or typing into the world of cyber”

” When we stay true to who we are and keep in touch with our true feelings and emotions, there is no end to us accomplishing great things, its when we suppress ourselves deep within, that we become someone we truly are not”

ST. Patrick’s day………

Saint Patrick was of Irish decent, he was also one of Christianity’s most famous figures, but yet most of his life still remains a mystery today.

We use this day of St. Patrick to not only associate with a figure we truly don’t know much about, but we use this day as an excuse to go out and drink til we can’t walk anymore. True there are some parts of this mans life we know, but the majority of his life is still a mystery and made up with more stretched truths, then any other that has walked a journey through life.

We celebrate this day today, not just of a man within the community of Christianity, but to have an excuse to go out and over do it with drinking alcohol. Saint Patrick yes is of Irish decent, but had nothing to do with drinking, til the point of collapse, this is only done by those who use anything or any excuse to drink, to hide their own situations that they may be shamed to admit, or don’t want to acknowledge they may have a problem, that needs attention.

Saint Patrick is a “Saint” for a reason, you think God would of let him into the “Saint” community if he were a drinker? This day started in his home land of Ireland, then spread throughout the World, as throughout time it became a lot easier to travel amongst the Countries than any time before us. When other Countries celebrate this day, they don’t know the real reason behind St. Patrick’s day, so they make up one just to take part in all the drinking festivities around the globe.

You can celebrate anything or anyone without having a drink in your hand and you feel a lot better the next morning, along with greed, drinking heavily is killing everything around us within Humanity, not too mention the Human brain cells you are killing with each drink, you may not feel the brain deteriorating within your head, but over time the effects will for ever haunt you in your life, if you are “lucky” enough to live long enough to enjoy it.

Saint Patrick is probably looking down at all of us and wondering how drinking got associated with him? He is looking down at the ones drinking heavily and thinking just how ridiculous they look right now, then he starts praying to God for all our safety, he asks God not to blame all Mankind, just for a few that started this Worldwide drinking party, he shows God his true empathy for Mankind, which led him to the community of Saint hood and had this day named in his honor.

” Saint Patrick was an Irishman within the Christianity community, maybe he did drink or maybe he never drank at all”

” If I were saint Patrick I to would be upset we associate drinking with his name, and putting a sour taste in all our mouths of Christianity”

To look deeply into what you see, not glance or be shallow…

GEDSC DIGITAL CAMERA            This picture was taken at a time when, the leaves have fallen from the tree’s and the color has come and gone.

What do you really see in this picture? To some they may not see the true beauty of God’s creation, they may see boring and not so bright colors, they may see the muck and fallen leaves in the foreground, or maybe the tree’s in the back ground with no leaves, to which they look dead? It is all a matter of perception and we all perceive everything around us differently, which is proof of just how unique to each other we really are.

What I see……….. Well lets look at it this way, when we wake up for work in the morning, we all go through a process to make ourselves up, so we come across to others as well groomed, we use make up to cover blemishes or whatever scars we are trying to hide, in essence we are putting forward a form of fake self to those around us, in this picture is God’s creation at a time with no make up, no color to bring our eyes away from the true beauty, that was created for us see things as they really are and not made out to be something it truly is not.

When God created all of Mankind he did so to help us, he created us to be unique to each other, so we can see deeply into everything around us and see the true beauty and not something made up, that does nothing but show a side of fake reality, it is us all throughout Mankind that has confused this fake reality with what true reality is, with the way we perceive everything and everyone around us.

To be true to what is captured in this picture, you should see all the hard work it took to create all that is in the picture, you should see that all this plant life is actually living and breathing the same air we as Mankind breathe, what we don’t see is the oxygen needed to make this air possible, for all living breathing creatures to survive on this planet, we also don’t see the living breathing plant life and creatures, within this body of water in the picture, there is a lot more to this picture, than what we perceive or want to see within it.

We are unique to each other and because of this, we perceive everything differently from each other. The dangerous part of this uniqueness and perception is we the people and how we perceive each other, we tend to look at others on the outside and judge them, before we get to know who they truly are, just because someone looks rough on the outside, doesn’t really mean they are rough on the inside and unless you really get to know someone, you don’t really have any idea of this. We all walk a path along a journey of life, some may have more struggles than others on their chosen path and from that look a little rougher than others, when we perceive someone and judge them by their looks, we then become shallow ourselves and from this shallowness, we then move forward with not trusting anything around us, so do you really see what you are looking at in this picture, or are you perceiving something based on what you see, without truly looking deep into what your looking at?

” Perception is part of who we truly are and is part of us being unique to each other throughout Mankind”

” To see what you are looking at is shallow, compared to really looking deeply into what you see”

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